Teachers Come in All Shapes and Sizes

Teachers come in all shapes and sizes. This particular one happened to be ten years old. She reminded me of something I already knew, but clearly needed reminding. Sometimes all it takes is a little reframing to take the power out of something meant to hurt us, and hopefully have a little fun in the process.

Which brings me to the ten-year-old girl standing at my market table looking through all the things with the word bitch on them.

I gently pointed out that there were some things for kids at the other end of the table. Her mom joined us, told me it was okay, and then explained why. Her daughter had been called a bitch at school and had come home understandably upset. I have to admit, I was a bit taken aback. Ten years old seemed awfully young to already have a word like that thrown at you.

But her mom had found a wonderful and, in my opinion, empowering way to take some of the sting out of it. Rather than letting someone else decide what the word meant, she helped her daughter reframe it.

If she was going to be called a bitch, then she was going to be a badass bitch.

I loved that. They had taken something meant to hurt and turned it into something they could have a little fun with together. The word hadn’t changed, but the power it held had. And then she found my You Are One Magnificent Bitch magnet.

There was a little negotiating between her and her mom about where the magnet could live. She was thinking school locker, her mom was thinking the fridge at home and eventually agreed her mom might be right.  Decision made, the magnet went home with her. As I was putting it into a little bag, I told her it looked like she’d just been upgraded from a badass bitch to a magnificent one. 

There’s something about the word magnificent. Badass is awesome, but magnificent gives it sparkle. 

Apparently that thought stayed with me, because when I got home that evening, I knew there was a card in there somewhere. And this morning, I finally finished it. A little reframe with a bit of attitude. 

I’ve thought about that ten-year-old a few times since. About how something that had upset her became something she and her mom could laugh about, simply because they decided to change the way they looked at it.

It makes me wonder how many things we carry around because of the meaning we’ve given them, or because of the meaning someone else gave them for us. Maybe we can’t always change the words, the experience or what happened. But sometimes we can change what we allow it to mean.

She isn’t the first young girl to leave me thinking long after she’s walked away from my table. A while ago, I wrote about another young girl who bought one of my little hearts and, without knowing it, reminded me of something I needed to hear. Two completely different girls. Two completely different moments. Neither one arrived intending to teach me anything. Yet somehow, both did. Teachers really do come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they’re ten years old and standing at my market table.